whoooo's ready for a new printed inhuman book?!??
chapter 9 is in the shop!!
that, and this month's sticker club is glittery knives. they look really good and make me happy.
additionally the tshirt company that i put designs out on would like you to know that there is a new shop url for yall to use.
things are extremely stressful right now, with the car in the shop again. i put up a gofundme but promoting it makes me feel a huge amount of anxiety at 'being seen' which is part of why i launched it on trans day of visibility - it feels like the most honest way to be seen. in dire fuckin straights atm, and worried there's no way out. i can't really focus on anything but the most immediate crisis, because the most immediate crisis is "your throw-everyone-in-the-car" emergency plan car just stopped being able to car. so how the fuck can you go on to thinking abt fixing the house for sale or getting your passport??! i think its what they call a 'sense of foreshortened future' in trauma circles. now imagine you swing between that and this shonen desire to envision something better and also work for it in opposition to god and the president and everyone, and you do this swing from 'there is no future' to 'i will build it from stones with my hands if i have to' like six times a day. wears you down, but seems better than the alternative.
i think it's a natural response to the state of the country, if you're awake to see it. but its good to know that even bribing ppl w million dollar checks cant get the fash everything they want. n its not really a shocker to learn that fascists believe everyone can be bought. /they/ can be bought, /they/ have no morals. and the core of their philosophy is that everyone is really just like them and only pretending to be better for optics. cynical right?! and thats the opinion of a lifelong cynic!
the little i can do to combat the emotional downer of being trapped inside the USA has been the usual nonsense - make art, pet cat, stare blankly into space consumed with worry. and find fiction to fall into.
i finally stopped rewatching the hbo chernobyl thing and have moved on to Don't Hug Me I'm Scared which is really just sick humor and pure art. love it.
i've been listening to a horror time-travel podcast called Sparks that's really good with minimalist sound design, so when listening back again for clues i also fall asleep a lot. this is good, keeps me from being awake til 2am worrying. see, i can't listen to something i know well and fall asleep - i tune it out because i know it so well. but if my dumb brain has something its interested in and not entirely familiar with, it'll stay hooked and not wander to anxiety long enough to drop into sleep while waiting for the calm, quiet, single voice to get to the point in the story i'm waiting to re-examine. and all those re listens help it gain leverage in the charts so win win.
wisdom teeth update - all healed up. waiting til later this month to get the other two out, and one's like totally on its side so they're gonna get anesthesia in there for that. the lack of pressure inside my head is kind of subtle but noticable? what i really notice is not accidentally biting the inside of my own mouth just living my life.
it's still kinda cold and nasty out but i cleaned off the garden and lots of things are coming up and greening. phlox is getting green, day lillies all poking up leaves. lot of irises, and the periwinkle is like 'oh has it been cold? i didnt even notice.' i see the green for daisies (or was it ox eye daisies?) and daffodils are spearing their way up just starting this week. just touched a bud of leaves on the lilac tree today. it's coming. i'm so relieved to see things coming back to life, though. snow fucks me up. sorry, snow lovers.
oh right i also wanted to share - i joined the creative team of Enigma Heart! i'm just doing little chibis for manual art, but i'm really excited cuz i've been intruiged by this game since it first got on my radar. and now that i've had access to plot spoilers im just like omfg this is gonna knock ppls socks off when they play it. it's a zelda2-like engine and the story is of a woman who wakes up in a seaside town w no memory, is given a name by the kind innkeeper who helps her recover & then becomes local do-gooder. enigma heart's on itchio and steam right now for wishlist and if you could add it, thatd really help everyone involved in the game's production out! wishlisting helps games get more eyes on them.
once im back from the con i'll probably shuffle some prices in the shop on paintings, depending on what's left in stock. but i am looking forward to starting my next one. awoooo
commentsblog via dreamwidth
chapter 9 is in the shop!!
that, and this month's sticker club is glittery knives. they look really good and make me happy.
additionally the tshirt company that i put designs out on would like you to know that there is a new shop url for yall to use.
things are extremely stressful right now, with the car in the shop again. i put up a gofundme but promoting it makes me feel a huge amount of anxiety at 'being seen' which is part of why i launched it on trans day of visibility - it feels like the most honest way to be seen. in dire fuckin straights atm, and worried there's no way out. i can't really focus on anything but the most immediate crisis, because the most immediate crisis is "your throw-everyone-in-the-car" emergency plan car just stopped being able to car. so how the fuck can you go on to thinking abt fixing the house for sale or getting your passport??! i think its what they call a 'sense of foreshortened future' in trauma circles. now imagine you swing between that and this shonen desire to envision something better and also work for it in opposition to god and the president and everyone, and you do this swing from 'there is no future' to 'i will build it from stones with my hands if i have to' like six times a day. wears you down, but seems better than the alternative.
i think it's a natural response to the state of the country, if you're awake to see it. but its good to know that even bribing ppl w million dollar checks cant get the fash everything they want. n its not really a shocker to learn that fascists believe everyone can be bought. /they/ can be bought, /they/ have no morals. and the core of their philosophy is that everyone is really just like them and only pretending to be better for optics. cynical right?! and thats the opinion of a lifelong cynic!
the little i can do to combat the emotional downer of being trapped inside the USA has been the usual nonsense - make art, pet cat, stare blankly into space consumed with worry. and find fiction to fall into.
i finally stopped rewatching the hbo chernobyl thing and have moved on to Don't Hug Me I'm Scared which is really just sick humor and pure art. love it.
i've been listening to a horror time-travel podcast called Sparks that's really good with minimalist sound design, so when listening back again for clues i also fall asleep a lot. this is good, keeps me from being awake til 2am worrying. see, i can't listen to something i know well and fall asleep - i tune it out because i know it so well. but if my dumb brain has something its interested in and not entirely familiar with, it'll stay hooked and not wander to anxiety long enough to drop into sleep while waiting for the calm, quiet, single voice to get to the point in the story i'm waiting to re-examine. and all those re listens help it gain leverage in the charts so win win.
wisdom teeth update - all healed up. waiting til later this month to get the other two out, and one's like totally on its side so they're gonna get anesthesia in there for that. the lack of pressure inside my head is kind of subtle but noticable? what i really notice is not accidentally biting the inside of my own mouth just living my life.
it's still kinda cold and nasty out but i cleaned off the garden and lots of things are coming up and greening. phlox is getting green, day lillies all poking up leaves. lot of irises, and the periwinkle is like 'oh has it been cold? i didnt even notice.' i see the green for daisies (or was it ox eye daisies?) and daffodils are spearing their way up just starting this week. just touched a bud of leaves on the lilac tree today. it's coming. i'm so relieved to see things coming back to life, though. snow fucks me up. sorry, snow lovers.
oh right i also wanted to share - i joined the creative team of Enigma Heart! i'm just doing little chibis for manual art, but i'm really excited cuz i've been intruiged by this game since it first got on my radar. and now that i've had access to plot spoilers im just like omfg this is gonna knock ppls socks off when they play it. it's a zelda2-like engine and the story is of a woman who wakes up in a seaside town w no memory, is given a name by the kind innkeeper who helps her recover & then becomes local do-gooder. enigma heart's on itchio and steam right now for wishlist and if you could add it, thatd really help everyone involved in the game's production out! wishlisting helps games get more eyes on them.
once im back from the con i'll probably shuffle some prices in the shop on paintings, depending on what's left in stock. but i am looking forward to starting my next one. awoooo
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